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Day 17

by Megan
I wrote this last night, but Blogger was down.
I’m really feeling discouraged. It’s been a tough few days. First I had the back issue which is still scaring me. I’m afraid to work out because of what might happen afterward. I skipped out on a total of five classes I had been planning on taking because of not wanting to hurt my back and being busy, etc. Tonight I went to two ballet classes, and I would have stayed for a third hour of Zumba (because ballet wasn’t too strenuous), but I didn’t bring milk for Vanessa, so I had to go home to feed her. I’m not worried about getting the most out of my unlimited pass, though, because it’s already paid for itself, and I’m planning on taking a lot more! I’m not even through the first week, just the first four days out of 30!
So first the back issue, then missing out on some classes, and then (and this is embarrassing), I really thought I was pregnant. No joke. Not that it would have been the worst thing in the world, since we want more kids, but I was so not ready for another 9 months of hell (yeah, that’s what it is), and I really wanted Vanessa to have a little more time to be the baby (they would have been 11 months apart!). Anyway, looks like I’m not, but I was really stressed out about it!
And to top it off, the numbers on the scale haven’t moved. I haven’t gained, just a little bit of fluctuation within a pound or so, but I haven’t lost either, and I need to get moving. I’m still doing well with no soda or sugar, but I need to eat better overall, in addition to those things. I’ve seen a little improvement as far as how my clothes are fitting, but I’m just nowhere near where I want to be, and that is what is discouraging me right now.
I’m auditioning for a show in a month, and I need to be in better shape for that. We’re taking pictures in two months, and it’s so important for me to feel good about how I look for those, because I want nice family pictures! Reaching my goal weight by then is probably unrealistic, but I could still go a long way between now and then.
Only ten more days before the sugar fast is over, but I’m probably going to start it up again after a couple of days of treating myself a bit. I cannot afford to drop the ball now!
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